{"id":1275,"date":"2007-06-02T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-06-02T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/?p=1275"},"modified":"2007-06-02T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-06-02T12:00:00","slug":"a-cuddly-toy-writes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/2007\/06\/02\/a-cuddly-toy-writes\/","title":{"rendered":"A Cuddly Toy Writes …"},"content":{"rendered":"

While Douglas lies sleeping, recovering from several nights of geek revelry, we’d like to take this opportunity to reveal the truth about that man’s morals and reliability. (N.B. The Dog can use the laptop and is familiar with Serendipity’s user interface, but be assured that he’s voicing our collective opinion.)<\/p>\n

Imagine how you<\/em> would feel if you were a young cuddly toy. You hear that there is a unique conference to take place at Edinburgh Castle, in your home town. You haven’t been allowed out of the house since a trip to the beach<\/a> almost a year ago! Then life takes a turn for the better when you’re told that you will form a key part of Douglas’ presentation and will also be allowed to attend the Gala Dinner.<\/p>\n

You’d be quite excited, of course.<\/p>\n

We were brushed up, cleaned and re-arranged on the comfy seat in preparation for the arrival of an international speaker<\/a>. It’s a little unfortunate that he chose to discuss sport and servers in his blog, rather than our late night discussions together, but we quite liked him. He’s ok. We found his accent a little tricky to understand until we started drinking vodka.<\/p>\n

Then, on Wednesday morning, we all accepted that we would have to be locked in a dark suitcase for the trip to The Castle. It was a little strange leaving the comfy seat empty, but would definitely be worth it.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\nThe trip was a little bumpy because of the cobbled streets, but eventually we came to a stand-still
and could hear the sound of projectors being set-up. Our moment had arrived.<\/p>\n

Except it didn’t arrive. We could hear Douglas speaking – something about DTrace, but who cares – and then he kept speaking (he’s like that) and kept speaking and then just stopped. We were still in the suitcase. Then some strange Dutch chap started speaking about Dataguard. Then we realised that we’d been forgotten!! Apart from Flatcat and Alex\/Pierre being plucked out for a few brief moments, thanks to our new best friend Alex, that was it!!! 🙁<\/p>\n

We are fuming with rage. We have had enough. Those cobbled streets and the way we were crammed into that suitcase made it the worst ‘day out’ we’ve ever had. Gala Dinner? Well, we could hear some old man talking about Oracle (that’s all these guys ever talk about) and could smell salmon and chocolate but that was about it. Enough is enough. Housemate of the Month? Forget it. We will not sell our souls to prop up this man’s blog. Would you?<\/p>\n

We realise we have a number of fans out there, but Housemate of the Month is cancelled. We’ll review our position on the 30th June.<\/p>\n

All our love.<\/p>\n

The Boys (and Polly) xxxx<\/p>\n

P.S. Our ironing board<\/a> is best.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While Douglas lies sleeping, recovering from several nights of geek revelry, we’d like to take this opportunity to reveal the truth about that man’s morals and reliability. (N.B. The Dog can use the laptop and is familiar with Serendipity’s user interface, but be assured that he’s voicing our collective opinion.) Imagine how you would feel… Continue reading A Cuddly Toy Writes …<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1583,"url":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/2010\/03\/11\/hotsos-2010-whats-that\/","url_meta":{"origin":1275,"position":0},"title":"Hotsos 2010 – What’s THAT?","date":"March 11, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I heard someone bemoaning the lack of Swag at Hotsos - just an event program, couple of magazines and a small clockwork toy sponsored by Oracle. I don't think I ever come to the Symposium expecting Swag - it's just not that kind of event. But you do tend to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"\/serendipity\/uploads\/xwhatsthat2.jpg.pagespeed.ic.YoNAHRCaJQ.jpg","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1287,"url":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/2007\/06\/18\/very-welcome\/","url_meta":{"origin":1275,"position":1},"title":"Very Welcome!","date":"June 18, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm sure many people will be delighted to see that Tanel Poder has started a blog. A technical anti-dote to cuddly toy nonsense!Welcome, Tanel","rel":"","context":"With 2 comments","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1521,"url":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/2009\/10\/10\/oow-2009-freeloaders\/","url_meta":{"origin":1275,"position":2},"title":"OOW 2009 – Freeloaders!","date":"October 10, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Although I haven't blogged about it specifically, my regular weekly trips to work in London recently have included a couple of fellow travellers each week. The rule has been that once a Cuddly Toy has experienced the London trip, they move to the 'old' comfy seat (the black leather recliner)\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 3 comments","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"\/serendipity\/uploads\/OOW1.jpg","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1300,"url":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/2007\/07\/22\/a-fresh-start-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":1275,"position":3},"title":"A Fresh Start","date":"July 22, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Over here. Please do not start any Cuddly Toy Front campaigns. They have a new home, they're quite excited about it (at least that's my story) and the next post here will be about Oracle, honestly!","rel":"","context":"Similar post","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":892,"url":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/2005\/12\/19\/bill\/","url_meta":{"origin":1275,"position":4},"title":"Bill","date":"December 19, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Now I realise that some of you may think that this is Treelo (I think he's called) from children's TV, but bear with me.Bill turned up in the post one day. He was parcelled a bit tightly so he's looked a bit strange ever since, but he was a present\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1164,"url":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/2006\/12\/24\/merry-christmas-war-is-over\/","url_meta":{"origin":1275,"position":5},"title":"Merry Christmas (War is Over)","date":"December 24, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Well, I wish that were true, but at least a short term seasonal truce has broken out in the Burns household. Past disagreements have been put aside and there'll be no mention of the Cuddly Toy Front from The Boys and Polly and no whinging and moaning from my side.\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 3 comments","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/18.133.199.212\/wp-content\/uploads\/recovered\/christmas_boys.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1275","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1275"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1275\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1275"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1275"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/orcldoug.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1275"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}