Advice for Gentlemen

  1. Whilst partaking of a pre-dinner aperitif with a lady who speaks Geordie, always leave the establishment a couple of paces behind her in case you need to pick up the bill she’s running away from.
  2. If the Chinese restaurant menu contains several ‘lung’ options, you may have picked up the one for the grown-ups by mistake. Your co-diners probably have the one you are looking for, the one that looks like the takeaway style menu you were hoping for. (Clue: If you can see lemon chicken on it, you’re probably safe)
  3. Never end up buying the last round in a hotel bar at the point where people have decided that double Single Malts (bit of a contradiction in there) are the way to go. �10? You can get them for a couple of shillings back home!
  4. It may seem like a good idea to put yourself forward as a model for fine ladies lingerie the following day, but it probably isn’t. Fortunately a lady is likely to discreetlyforget the incident.

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